Amy Pence-Brown
I've recently made it my personal mission to source out remarkable, impactful women to surround my social media with. I no longer follow or interact with people that don't feed my soul or my brain. So, when I stumbled upon Amy's amazing Instagram page I was BLOWN away. Not realizing it was the same beautiful babe that was the face and body behind her viral feminist art installation - I was thrilled when I finally connected the two. It threw me back to the days when I was younger, starry eyed and ambitious to change the world. I remember first discovering the "free hugs" movement - I patiently stood on street corners with a sign, eagerly awaiting to impart my endless reserve of love for humanity. As you can imagine, I lost some of that as I got older. Watching Amy fearlessly dive into such a vulnerable experience, has reminded me of this absolute essential part of our humanity - our desire to connect with and accept others.
Having decided to do a session with me was an honour. I knew that it wouldn't be similar to my other sessions in that, she wanted me to leave her cellulite and lucious belly rolls untouched. She wanted to prance around naked for me, without concern of the way her body naturally existed. It was such an impactful reminder of the power and value of self love. She also has an outstanding Ted Talk that left me all misty eyed about the importance of abolishing self hate.
As a boudoir photographer, I don't believe in any kind of retouching. It's a little bit because photoshop is 90% profoundly overwhelming for my brain, but mostly because I don't want you to ideate to a different body, a different version of yourself. I want you to honour who you are, right here and right now. I want for you, to have 45 minutes of your day where you're not pinching your rolls wondering where they came from, where you're not running your fingers down the lines of your new stretch marks, where you're not obsessing over food, calories or diets. I want you to have a second out of your day to breathe into your body, honour this moment, and just ... BE.
With thousands of people telling us everyday what we should eat, what we should be doing, how we should be better, what parts of ourselves we should hate - it is indeed a rebellious act to honour where we're at, with love and tenderness. Imagine the freedom that comes with not wanting to change anything about yourself, for a split second. Imagine. Amy was a fervent reminder of the importance of doing just that. Of respecting your body for all it's given you - everywhere it's taken you. It's been through so much!
Every time I do a photoshoot - virtually or in person in my wee town of Lethbridge, I'm fiercely reminded of WHY I do this work. I am reminded of why people like Amy do this work. It's for little girls, and grown women. It's for gender fluid and non binary people. It's for the lost inner children of the world. It's for people who are terrified to be seen, scared to be themselves, to take up space. They can see Amy unabashedly, unapologetically and passionately taking up space. Loudly claiming her stake in the world. When I see people asking why it's necessary - why it's so important for people who can make a statement, do - I point out over and over again. It's for all of us. It's for us to see and to know, that it's ok to be seen. It's okay to be wanted. It's okay to exist. It's okay to be present here in our bodies, free from hate, from systematic discrimination. It's okay.
You might think I just take pictures. But, I know in the back of my head that I'm providing a service I consider essential. Do you know how I know that? Because every time I post these photo, or Amy posts about the importance of self love - people message us saying things like:
"I've spent my whole life hating my body, and hating who I am. Seeing you here, makes me hate myself a little less today."
"I can finally look at myself for the first time."
"It helps my own self esteem to see other happy women my size."
"These photos have been crucial to my own recovery from eating disorders, to learning how to be a fat positive ally and to acknowledge my own thin privledge."
"You've really helped me feel secure in myself, not only when I'm having a good day."
"Your posts are my "breath of fresh air". It's hard stopping negative thoughts, but I use you as my guide. Baby steps. Thank you."
"You are, by far, one of the most helpful and empowering examples for me as a woman. How you keep showing up in the world allows me to see a woman who's body looks like mine and is fucking gorgeous. It's. So. Life changing. Thank you so much."
"I know you've heard it before but, you have no idea how you have saved me. Made me look at my body and not cry. Make me feel like at 40+, 2 cesarian sections, and everything else going on, I AM GOOD. I am fine. I must love me before anyone else can. THANK YOU!"
So next time you feel shitty about yourself. Or you feel mad at yourself for something you ate. Or, you just can't confront the mirror today - remember this: you are and always will be deserving of respect, kindness and love. Regardless of size, weight, caloric intake, what you ate for breakfast this morning, how you've treated your body, bad days and good days, the choices you make, the people you surround yourself with.
You are a human fucking being. Don't forget, okay my loves?
Amy Pence-Brown is a fat feminist mother who believes in opening her mouth and her heart. From both of these places she tells stories – as a writer on her blog and other local & national publications, as a historian giving tours for Preservation Idaho, and as a visual artist creating subversive stitchings and performance pieces and co-creator of Wintry & Summery Market and Idaho Vintage Market. As a writer, body positive activist, artist, historian, gardener and preservationist in Boise, Idaho, she has a master’s degree in art & architectural history and has worked at many museums and has juried and curated numerous exhibitions. Pence-Brown serves the children and youth of her community as a mother of three and as School Garden Coordinator for Hawthorne Elementary School. Her radical stand for self-love at the Capital City Public Market on August 29, 2015, in Boise, Idaho, was documented in a blog post, photographs and a video seen over 200 million times to date. Pence-Brown's message of self-love and the value of all bodies, no matter their size, went viral and has been written about by several publications and interviewed by the likes of CNN, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, People, TODAY, WGN Morning News Chicago, Idaho Statesman, and Idaho's NPR station - Boise State Public Radio. She has been named one of the top 50 Idaho Women of the Year twice and is the leader of the Boise Rad Fat Collective and the creator of RADCAMP: A Body Positive Boot Camp for Feminists & Feminist Teens.
Want to see more of Amy? Links below!